Length of just about everything is an issue for the statuesque (a word we hate, incidentally. I’d never dream of clasping my lanky hands together and gushing to a petite friend, “I just love how garden gnome-ish you are!”). But if there’s a third rail when it comes to the length issue, it’s inseam. Do not wave 34 inches at me and call that tall. I’m still scarred by cries of “Flood’s over!” from my early adolescence. And here’s another little-known inseam fact: tall women tend to brag about theirs the way certain men brag about…well, you get the picture. In fact, it’s probably the only body measurement women openly flaunt the larger it gets. But when the one-upmanship dies down, you need a pair of jeans that prove you’re the tallest of them all.

That’s why when rumors began swirling here at MyShape that Paige Premium Denim jeans were coming in, I went skipping around the office, which is something talls never do. I would, however, dumpster dive for a 36-incher, so when their Laurel Canyon Jeans in Lagoon finally arrived, I shadowed them from receiving to the photo studio. The product photoflash was still a warm, blinding aura when I snatched them up.

At home I gently draped them over my least sat-in chair, occasionally sounding a shy, goofy giggle like they were Brad Pitt or something. Once or twice I wandered out of the room, then immediately ran back in and gave a surprised gasp, like I’d totally forgotten I’d bought them. Finally, I slipped them on, and through that miracle called a Personal Shop, they fit perfectly—low and sexy-snug around my curvy hips—and were possessed of an eye-popping 37-inch inseam. I dug my platform sandals out of the closet and slipped them on, checking my look in the mirror. Swathed in premium denim, my legs were endless, and the boot-cut flare balanced my A shape perfectly, because I may be as tall as a supermodel, but I’m definitely not built like one. And now I’ve set my sights on my next conquest: Paige Premium Denim Laurel Canyon Jeans in McKinley. Darker wash, similar boast-worthy inseam and nice boot-cut flare. Looks like my dumpster-diving days are over.